Funny One Liners & Quotes

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lol hav some hearty laugh... ;)

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.

10..Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12..God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16..Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!

17..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18..Procrastinate Now!

19..I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21..A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26..Ham and eggs. A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27..The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

28..The original point and click inter face was a Smith & Wesson.

29..I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.

Be Positive...!!!!

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Think positive!!

Best Moral... !!!

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A training program for top management.



A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said,
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"



The crowd was shocked!



He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"



The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

.
.
.
.
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About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He
tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.



He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"


Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.



After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager
finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !"



As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....




Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste!!

Funny stuff....

Hmm...well friends I gotta tell u smethg...u knw its been a month or more then that since I started blogging....and during the time I started this blog I was totally confused as to what shud i do to make it a wonderful and unique one....after spending sometime thinking abt it...I came to a conclusion that I ill add my own collection of every thg wat I hav it and so wat I did...I did with the only intention to help u guys...And am really glad to see the overwhelming response of u ppls and I feel so gud wen smeone says "Thank u", "Gud Job" and they encourage me to carry on this work..!!
Now at this stage I feel this is not the only thing wat u r luking for and I also feel that my blog really lacks smethg...so I hav now decided to add some fun to my blog...yes from now onwards I ill also be adding some funny stuffs which wud mak u laugh...which wud mak u 4gt all ur worries....which wud bring a lovely smile on ur face....and finally which wud make u addicted to ma blog...lol!!!
so here I go wid the first one.....

Resignation letter__samples


Short But not formal....


A Bit Formal......


Formal one....


Or this one?